The Ultimate Coparenting Guide (How To Keep Things Right For Your Kid, Even When Your Relationship Goes Wrong)

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When a valued relationship like a marriage or civil partnership breaks down, it can be devastating, even if there is no one else involved. Of course, add a child or children to the mix, and things can get complicated very quickly. Especially if both parties still want to play an active role in their children's lives. That is not to say that co-parenting cannot be successful, however. In fact, you absolutely do not need to be in a relationship with the other person to do what is best for your child. The same being true for bringing them up to be a happy and well-adjusted individual. A topic that you can get the lowdown on in the post below. 

The good of your child comes first. 

What it is absolutely vital to remember is that in a co-parenting situation, the good of your child needs to take top priority. What this means is that sometimes there will be situations that you find difficult or uncomfortable. Particularly if your ex-partner has moved on and is seeing someone else. However, your feelings about this need to take a back seat if co-parenting is to work. 

Have clear expectations for your co-parent (& discuss these) 

Next, something that can make a massive difference to a co-parenting situation is being very clear and reasonable with your expectations for the other person that is involved. Of course, you will need to communicate, and at times negotiate these expectations as well. Something that means you will need to be able to talk civilly and have constructive conversations that do not end up in arguments. 

In fact, a good tip here is that if a face to face discussions are still too tough, you can use text message or email instead. These platforms being useful because they allow you to say everything that you want without getting flustered, and also involved a degree of separation from the person you are communicating with. Something that can be very useful if string emotions are still affecting the way that you interact with them. 

Don't let money cloud the issue. 

Money is always a sticking point when a relationship breaks down. Still, it is essential that you do not let financial issues or disputes contaminate the way that you and your co-parent raise your child. To that end, keeping economic discussion separate and done in the presence of a legal professional can be the best way to approach this. 

Happily, there are firms like Bannister Preston that specialize in family law, including the financial side of things that you can get help from. Something that can help you to keep your head, but also make sure you get what you are entitled from the relationship, without it having to affect how you and your ex parent your child. 

Don't let your emotional baggage get in the way of effective co-parenting. 

I have already touched lightly upon the fact that parents often face a difficult time emotionally. In fact, being in regular contact with your ex can be very difficult indeed, even if it is you that chooses to end the relationship. After all, we don't just forget all of our feelings for someone once the relationship is over. 

With that in mind, it can be wise to limit your content and shared time together with your child. At least until the wounds of your past relationship have healed. Some co-parents even choose to attend therapy sessions in the beginning too.  This being something that can help them better communicate and navigate the waters of parenting. While at the same time not being in a relationship. Thus making all the difference to the experience of the child that is being cared for. 

Be compassion to all parties involved. 

Finally, when it comes to co-parenting, compassion is incredibly important. Not just towards the other person but towards yourself and your child as well. In fact, recognizing that both you and they will screw up from time to time, as well as being willing to forgive this, can help you avoid a lot of hurdles in the long run. 

Additionally, being compassionate with your child who is getting used to a very different situation and will have anxieties and stresses of their own is crucial as well. Even though this adjustment may take some time. 

After all, for co-parenting to be successful, it's not just about how you and your ex relate. In fact, the ultimate yardstick is how content and well adjusted your child is.  


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