Depression, PPD, and Decades of Living Through It: Chapter 3: Part 1

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In case you missed Chapter 2, you can find it here.  Sorry for the delay in writing, but we moved last Thursday and my life has been a literal wreck.  I can't find anything and boxes are everywhere which is driving my anxiety through the roof!

As my twenties came to end, I was feeling pretty good.  I also thought it would be a fantastic idea (because I felt so good) to STOP taking my meds.  This was a horrible idea because guess what, I went straight back down the hole.  You probably could've guessed that, but I truly thought I could handle myself, my emotions, and my head.  

I saw my former BF over Thanksgiving and crawled into his lap and wept like no tomorrow.  Fortunately, his support was never wavering.  He held me, consoled me, and told me to immediately get back on my meds.  I listened to him, thank heavens.  I also switched up from Wellbutrin and Zoloft to Pristique.  One note: meds effectiveness can decrease over time so talk to your doctor if you feel they aren't working as well.

I got a real job in 2011!  No more working for my family!  In May 2011, I met my now husband.  Obviously, it worked out pretty well since we are now married ;-) .  However, there were definitely some rough patches.  He was in the middle of a divorce and understandably a little uncertain about getting into another relationship.  He's also bi-polar manic depressive which I have some experience with due to my Paw Paw.  Together, we have managed to work through a wide range of emotions and erratic behavior.  And this was all pre-baby.

We got engaged over Thanksgiving in 2013, but let me rewind a bit.  Labor Day 2013, I had the ultimate mean girl smackdown.  Two of my former friends decided to stage some sort of crazy intervention at a 25 person party at the beach telling me that John was a bad person, that I had become a bad person since dating him, and one of them accused him of sexual assault the previous year.  Now, I have been a victim of sexual assault, which I believe is why they through in this accusation, and I do not take it lightly.  However, my husband would never do such a thing.  You'll see why I say this with such conviction momentarily.  

These two former friends invited my then bf and I down to this party.  Then, over the course of the weekend, they ostracized us by talking so much shit that none of the other guests would speak to us.  Talk about creating anxiety for both of us.  The group was playing some drinking games and John, not feeling welcome, slipped away and laid down on a chaise in the living room.

The owner found him laying there and screamed at him to get his grubby feet off of her $5000 chaise.  Now, my hubs was super rude back to her and called her a fat b which led her bf to jacking up my bf against the wall.  We were then asked to leave the big house cause we were staying at the villa which we did.  We had both had a bit to drink so driving was not a good idea which is why we didn't leave then.  Boy, do I regret that mistake.

John went to bed and I went out on the back porch to think about what nonsense had just happened.  About 20 minutes later, the porch was bum-rushed by these 2 "friends".  They proceeded to berate me for dating John, made horrible accusations against him, and screamed at me over and over.  I sat there mouth open and silent.  I was so confused by what they were saying that I didn't even try to fight back.  

Another girl went inside and as she opened the door, an intense animal like moan escaped from the sliding glass door.  Our room was a loft so it was obvious the sound was coming from there.  I ran up the stairs and my mouth again fell open.  My bf was covered in blood.  It was everywhere and upon closer inspection, his entire left side of his head had been bludgeoned.  His left eye was swollen shut and his head had become the size of a watermelon.  The mean girls ran up the stairs after and one had the audacity to say he didn't need to go to the hospital.  HE OBVIOUSLY DID.

I ask other friends to help get him out of bed and down the stairs while I pull around the car.  We get him in the car; he's moaning; he could not walk himself down the stairs; he could not see.  The two of us rush to the ER.  I half carry him into the hospital and finally get help.  Mind you, I was being screamed at 15 minutes prior, am in shock from my crazy a$$ friends' rant, and did not see anyone enter the house and go upstairs.  In other words, I have no idea of who could've done this to him.

7 hours later, we leave the ER and go to my hub's parents' house.  Fortunately, they lived nearby.  Do you have any idea of how mortifying it is to have to carry your bf into his parents' house at 630am after his head has literally been bashed in?  Probably not.  Nobody should have to live through something like this.  Then, the trying to explain what happened and why.  Disaster and I definitely look like an idiot bringing their son into this mess.

Fortunately, some of my normal friends were down as well and they took me to gather all of our belongings from the villa without John.  Blood was still everywhere, but we were in and out without running into anyone.  

The police were called while we were in the ER and everyone at the party had been questioned.  Later, we talked to the DA and it was believed that either one of the former friend's boyfriend or the Navy Seal that was there had physically assaulted my bf.  Fast forward, we go through that process and the Seal confesses and settles with us out of court.  So I think finally it's over.  I'm no longer friends with them and justice has been served.

Well, that was just the beginning.  A couple of weeks before the anniversary of the incident, in August 2014, I was working from home and a courier knocked at the door.  She handed me a fairly large envelope and I had to sign.  My future husband (you know the one with the bludgeoned head) had just been served.  Yep, after he'd been beaten almost to death and his orbital bone and all of the bones on the left side of his face had been broken.  

My two former "friends" were suing him for trespassing (we were invited and had an invitation as proof), stealing a golf cart (which remained on their property), and sexual assault.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Apparently, even though my bf couldn't walk, talk, see, and had been beaten, he somehow managed to fondle and assault one of them while they were helping him down the stairs.  I can't underscore enough how incapacitated he was.  

So, after dealing with lawyers, police, etc for a year, we were now faced with more lawyers and all of the expense that accompanies that for who knows how long.  Did I mention we were getting married in October of 2014???  I was a bride (hopefully not a bridezilla), but I had a 300 plus person wedding coming in a few months and there was already some stress.  Couple that with the stress of my future husband being sued for sexual assault.  I was a wreck.  I got into this horrible habit of calling friends at midnight, after a few cocktails, crying hysterically, asking what had I done to deserve this kind of wrath from people that were supposed to love me and be my friends.  Now, I am not a perfect friend by any means, but I am a pretty good friend and these two girls had crushed my faith in myself, made me question my future marriage (even though I fully believed my future husband), and just quite simply made me sad and hurt.  Kick in some serious sadness.  

Next Up - the Wedding and the Trial



Bloglove2018 said...

I am so sorry u were going thru this. No one should! 🤗

Llama Punch said...

These stories keep me on the edge of my seat AND make me want to beat people up for you!!

Lee said...

Been an interesting ride for sure!

Phillipa McNeill said...

Honestly Lee you need to put these in a book! Your stories re so captivating! Love them z